The Chronic Chronicler

Yet another reason why Microsoft sucks.

2008-09-25T00:01:00.001-07:00

Usually when I go to write a blog post I compose it in the notes section of Entourage (my email client). Last month my friend Jarrod asked me to write an article for his website and I happily agreed. Even though it took at least 20 combined hours to write and it made me hella procrastinate because of it's tediousness, I finally completed it 2 days ago by forcing myself to sit down and plow through it. It was so ready, it could have been cut and pasted that day. To ANYTHING. But I ignored my better judgement and said to myself, double backup is paranoia. So yesterday entourage decided that the database was corrupt and would no longer access ANY of the data. That includes email, notes, contacts, preferences etc. Nobody ever said anything about the 2GB data limit of entourage. If I could strangle any software program till my fingers leave imprints on it's soft tender flesh and bruises on its trachea, this would be the one. Thanks Microsoft. Thanks a lot.

PS. yes i said hella.

Back in the good ol' US of A

2008-08-20T12:19:00.000-07:00

So I'm back. In Chicago. I'm not sure whether it's the reverse culture shock of being in the states or just being back here in my hometown after being absent for ages but it's weird. I'm suspecting it must the latter since it's been way more about what I've noticed having changed or lack there of, and the things that still remain that I've completely forgotten about. Perhaps it's a testament to how much I've changed as well. Chicago is nostalgic and completely foreign all at once. I'm disoriented, a stranger in my own city and it's only through the comfort of being with my closest friends and family that I'm able to keep from succumbing to the alienation that threatens to swallow me up at times.

I remember what it was like to live and walk amongst these inhabitants. The feeling of the city was and is still very solid, cemented and real. Chicago is a no nonsense town. People don't change much. In Chicago, you follow routine and do the things you are supposed to do like everyone else. You go to school, you get a job, get married, buy a house, have children, and grow old. You don't wander very far and when you do you almost always inevitably return. In recent months I've been contacted through facebook from email blasts from the past. Old high school classmates, best friends, acquaintances, etcetera. The majority of them still live within a fifty mile radius of Chicago and all of them are married, possibly with kids and a house somewhere.

Weird.
Kids.

Arriving into O'hare was the 1st time I actually thought about my own mortality in a long time. Afterall, in what seems like a blink of an eye, 15 years have passed since high school graduation. I joined the army, finished college, moved to another city, have had multiple long-term relationships, traveled around the world, and just plain lived out my strange and sometimes surreal life. There's not a whole lot different from before. I still rent. I'm still single. I don't have much in material possessions and barely a savings now that I've squandered half of it on traveling. I feel like I'm standing still but time is moving very fast. My life is a collection of experiences with hardly anything tangible to show for it except for some pictures and a blog I try to keep up with once in while. Oh yea, I have two cats but even they are at the midpoint of their lives and will be ghosts before the close of this next decade. My relationship with my parents and sisters are essentially the same. We're still kids to them and even to ourselves. I'm not sure what my parents think about us. Occasionally my mom will show concern about the parade of partners I've steadily streamed through but I think deep down she knows she might never see grandkids from any of us in her lifetime so she never bothers asking.

In less than 2 weeks I'll be back in SF. Not sure how that's gonna be. I'm worried I might fall back into nasty old habits. Traveling has made me re-evaluate and reconsider what is important in life. Is it career and social mobility? Or is the key to happiness simplicity and staying present? I thought traveling would answer a lot of questions for me. Instead it's only created more.

I'm not really sure what i'm trying to say with any of this. Guess I'm only trying to make sense of it all.

The end of this blog?

2008-07-06T10:49:00.000-07:00

Today I went to the beach and took my camera with, but because there were going to be so many people on the beach I thought perhaps I should bring it in waterproof bag that I got in Thailand from the songran festival. So i put it in there along with the 30 euros I brought with me into the water, was having a nice chat before I decided to double check the bag and what do I see? a potentail $300 dollars blown. fuck me. keep your fingers crossed that after i let it dry out it'll miraculously work again. Should I pray to jesus hard the next 2 days? Somehow I don't think he's gonna help me. Plus it looks like the on button got pressed while it was in the water. sigh. i'm screwed.

safe and sound in valencia, spain.

2008-07-06T03:27:00.000-07:00

Did you know that people here clap when the plane lands safely? I didn't.

Cambodia: Part 2

2008-06-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

The morning after my arrival into Phnom Penh. The night before I had arrived after dark and made the mistake of allowing a tout con me into taking me to his guesthouse of choice that I didn’t want to stay at. It was obvious that this was a place that paid half the tuk-tuk drivers in the city to bring backpackers to since it was teeming with them in a neighborhood that obviously was away from the main the drag. Because I had decided I didn’t want to stay there I spent a good half an hour having him drive me around in search of other crappy little guesthouses that didn’t prove much better. I finally settled on a cockroach infested room close to the waterfront area and had to pay him extra for the runaround. I was ready to punch the guy in the end.

In search of food.

Finally found something adequate. Sadly, I can’t say Cambodian food is all that good. Most of their dishes are rip-offs of neighboring country’s dishes.

The Royal palace

The National Museum

Tuol Sleng Genocide museum. This was an old high school converted to a detention center where Pol Pot sent several thousand people to be tortured and killed. Read about the killing fields and the mass atrocities that were committed in cambodia between 1975 and 1979 here.

The Rules

Not sure what this means but I made sure I maintained a solemn composure whenever I was around it.

On the ground floor of Building A there were a series of rooms that were used as the torture rooms. On the walls hung portraits of various victims laid out on the metal beds.

Large screens of mugshots taken of detainees before they were sent to their fate. There were hundreds of these pictures spread out through several rooms.

Building C had classrooms that had been divided up into individual cells. In those cells the victims would be shackled to metal bars in rooms that were barely the width of half a twin mattress.

To be sure, this ain’t no “Welcome Back Kotter”

I think the only example of graffiti I saw in cambodia. I have a deep suspicion it was done by a westerner.

Cheap goods abound in the Russian market. Get your pirated DVDs here.

Central market. it was like a giant beehive.

This was the American couple, Amanda and Leighton, that I traveled with while in Cambodia. I met them at the border and we rode to Siem Reap and met up in Phnom Penh together.

Leighton getting a wee bit drunk.

Ramshackle homes along a riverside as we bused it towards Saigon.

The typical traffic.

While we were waiting for the ferry, dozens of peddlers rushed the vehicles to try to sell their wares.

Seeing them really gave you a perspective on how poor the locals are as you witness them jostle each other for that potential sale.

Oh yea, it might look like it’s cold but we were in the middle of the hottest months in cambodia.

I witnessed a nearly full water bottle casually tossed out of a truck and 1 young boy and his friend quickly picking it up to gulp down the contents before the rest of it spilled onto the pavement.

All of the sudden they noticed me watching and ran up to the bus banging under my window trying to get my attention.

Propaganda party signs were everywhere.

She was interesting as she was a very serious business woman who minutes earlier had pulled out a VERY large wad of cash from her bosom. This was the last pitstop before crossing over into vietnam.

Next stop: VIETNAM

Cambodia: Part 1

2008-05-25T15:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, I’ve finally gone through my cambodia pictures!! Traveling in Asia made it very hard to update since I didn’t have the convenience of pulling out my laptop to work on photos and writing while there was downtime. Just didn’t want to attract that kind of negative attention. So I’m finally now getting some freetime to play catchup while on stopover in bahrain, awaiting my departure to frankfurt, Germany. My SE Asian segment ended today and I’m quite not sure how I’m feeling about it. Perhaps a twinge of wistfulness mixed with apprehension for europe? Considering its always been hard for me to switch gears quickly, I’ll say I’m sad to be leaving behind family members and friends I had amazing memories in asia with. That leg of the trip was a whirlwind time and I have to say after traveling through most of the mekong region I definitely have a MUCH greater appreciation for asia more than I’ve ever had before. In fact not only would I love to go back and travel again, I’d even consider moving if money was right.

Before arriving in poipet, I was a mess of jumbled nerves after reading sketchy accounts of the numerous unsavories that eek out their livelihood by badgering the living hell out of newly arriving tourists. That combined with well meaning family members constantly reminding me how gravely concerned they were for my safety and how they were going to do whatever possible to get me safely across by calling in favors to their cambodian contacts, it was a miracle I didn’t literally die from a massive panic attack. I tell ya though it wasn’t easy, I damn near did after all the paranoia they were fed me. By the time I said goodbye to my cousin my stomach was in such tangled knots I seriously thought I would throw up. It turns out that it wasn’t nearly half as bad as I thought it was going to be. In preparation for my journey I did some internet research and found a great website that detailed exactly what to expect once across the border, listing concise instructions to where to find the touts and the different transportation choices available, even going as far as providing an illustrated map of where to go on the other side. The website talesofasia.com coincidentally is maintained by an american expat who ran the guesthouse right next the guesthouse I ended up staying at. They had free wireless and although I didn’t stay there I did end up going to the café a few times to make use of their wifi. If you should ever end up taking the same route I took to siem reap, I highly recommend giving the site a once over. The information was accurate and if you’re looking for a second opinion I’d also say skip the buses, you’re better off getting a share taxi even if it slightly more expensive. It’s not hard finding fellow travelers to split the costs with and you get there much faster than taking the bus since sometimes the drivers like to delay the traveler as much as 6 hours just to get you there after dark and take you to their guesthouse of choice ensuring themselves a commission. But also realize, even though everyone is trying to make a commission off of you, it’s not necessarily all a bad thing since a lot of times the guesthouses are adequate and fair in price. In the end I’d rather save an hour of my time rather than tow a heavy pack around town to save myself a buck or 2. Definitely NOT worth it.

When you make it to the other side you can’t walk 20 meters without immediately being pounced on with a what-is-your-name and where-are-you-going spiel. Eventually after standing around looking every bit the tourist I was, I resigned to the bleakness of my situation and broke down and talked to a guy who was a liason for an associate driving a share taxi. With my somewhat shitty thai, I managed to get him to down to the low low price of $29.99 for not a 3, not a 4, BUT a 5! hour car ride on a dirt highway to siem reap with 2 other americans I met in the passport line by asking if they wanted to split a taxi to our destination.

Having assumed that cambodia would be exactly the same as thailand it was crazy to witness the landscape change from somewhat lush green to red dustbowl in a matter of 30km as we motored through the border.

Lots of dust as we drove past overcrowded pickup trucks and wooden stilt homes along the main highway. Cambodians as a whole relies heavily on farming for their sustenance.

Not once did I see a petrol station along the road. Instead these cars are outfitted to used compressed gas. Don’t ask me how much or how efficient the fuel is. I wouldn’t have a clue but it definitely have to be a lot cheaper than what we pay in the states.

A rest stop along the way.

For $6 a night you can get a great fan-only room with a private bathroom. Also, most guesthouses in cambodia require their guests to remove their shoes outside the front lobby reception.

The guy to the left worked at the hotel, the guy to right was our hired tuk tuk driver for 2 days. It wasn’t actually a tuk-tuk though. It was a motobike rigged with a cart.

Our first day towards the ruins. This is the main road that leads to angkor wat.

At every temple ruin there are throngs of kids trying to sell you books, beads, postcards, water, whatever it is they can convince you to buy. For the most part they are harmless but be ready for some serious persistence even AFTER you break down and buy something. they ask you to buy more but understand that due to strict laws govern the area, this is their only way they make their money so don’t turn your nose up at them.

Our initiation to the temples.

Interior Bas relief.

temple #2: banteay kdei

This was the site for the temple ruins they used in tombraider. (Ta Prohm) Mostly because these ruins is of the ones that were left the most intact with jungle overgrowth. These days it’s been cleaned up and restored a lot but it gives you an idea of how it was found over 700 years later by french explorer Henri Mouhot.

this guy was ultra friendly. with a fucked up leg and bad limp he led me off the beaten path to photo op areas that he thought were worth photographing. it was all things he found beautiful. so endearing.

he even told me to get into the tree for a pic.
You saw these ensembles everywhere. they are landmine victims who no longer can work and depend on donations as musicians.
While heading to the bathroom, I noticed a kid whacking a tree branch with a big stick collecting ants and their eggs. Not sure how they were going to be prepared but I know it was for consumption.

it was a scary climb to the top.

heading to wat thom compound.

banyon was the exquisite centerpiece of the compound.

after 8 straight hours of temples we decided to call it a day and that we would save angkor wat for sunrise. That evening we spent the sunset at banyon.

Never got to try them.

All across asia I saw these bottles with whole cobras clamping on the tails of huge scorpion in their mouths. Drink it and you become powerful like He-man.

for some reason walking around asia at night reminded me of nights at burning man. maybe that’s where the inspirations for some of the camps came from.

yep I made it up after much persuasion from leighton and amanda, the american friends I ended up hanging out with in siem reap and phnom penh.

I wasn’t prepared for the beauty of angkor wat but I was really thankful we had waited til the next day. it definitely earned it’s reputation as the crowning glory of the temples.

Interior courtyard.

The dark parts is from the oils of peoples hands touching the bas reliefs. shame on everyone! Admittedly i wanted to touch it too.

The kids were always curious and friendly. At first it started off with the little guy and the rest just followed suit.

while I was walking out, there was a crowd of people waiting to get their picture taken in what looked like a traditional Cambodian cowboy outfit.

this monkey was just moseying down the walkway like he was on a mission. once he was teased by this kid and the monkey lunged at him. moral of the story: don’t mess with monkeys. ps. you have no clue how many monkey horror stories there are out there.

We were just about to head home when amanda noticed the long procession of monks and decided that she wanted to stay and take photographs. I’m glad we did, it was quite the scene. Did I mention that she’s a professional photographer? And a good one at that!

Tired of temples yet? yea now you know how i felt after a day.

In SE asia, 3 is NOT a crowd.

on the way to phnom penh. stay tuned for part II!

Yay! I've managed to squeeze out another one!

2008-04-28T08:28:00.000-07:00

Ok so I’ve come to realize how hard it’s becoming to keep up with posts and I’m now considering perhaps just making it a goal of posting pictures only instead of going through the trouble of creating interesting commentary to go along with it. Maybe if I did it this way, then the posts will become more frequent. Since I’m so very far behind and still needing to finish up New Zealand before I forget all relevant info I will commence with posting up my time in Wellington now.
The morning I rolled into Wellington from Taupo.

Our first stop was at the top of Mount Victoria for a view of the city.
This is Rachel. Rachel and her flat was my very first couchsurfing experience. At first I was nervous because I was unsure of what to expect but it was my perfect initiation into couchsurfing! If you don’t know what couchsurfing is check it out here. So far I’ve surfed with 5 hosts and they’ve all been pretty rad.
From L-R that’s Rachel, Charlie, ALEK! (said just like that. ALEK! had a strong personality to say the least. strong personality = amusing bossy Macedonian), and Hollie. That couch you see in the foreground was my bed for a few days.

These guys had an enviable living arrangement whereby in addition to their weekly rent they contributed a fixed amount to the communal pot which went towards bills and groceries. Flatmates took turns buying groceries and cooking whenever they’d feel the urge. The ones who didn’t cook would do the clean up. House rules were fairly loose from what I saw as everyone seemed pretty self regulating. Having communal groceries meant that food was available to everyone equally thus eliminating the danger of quibbling over whose was who’s. Of course in order to become a resident of the Ghunzee street apartment, one also had to be subjected to a rigorous interview process in which the whole group was involved. Funnily enough, the apartment had somewhat of a strict vegetarian policy even though the majority of the housemates were not. Apparently it was a carryover from the original tenants, Charlie having the tenure of longest resident there.
L-R: Hollie, John, and Charlie. That night we all went out for a walk and stopped for gelato. The original plan was to go check out one of their friend’s performance at some bar down the street. This was spearheaded by ALEK! But 10 mins into our walk, plans changed. As soon as we arrived ALEK! ran into another friend out front who convinced him that we should go check out the giant shadow box instead. Of course he convinced us all to go but he himself had to return movies first and so would meet us at the shadow box later. Long story short, we went, we saw, and he disappeared. Keep in mind ALEK! did all the persuading and basically was the mastermind behind our excursion. Funny guy that ALEK! The flatmates themselves were a lovely bunch. Not only did they live together but they all could and DID oftentimes go out together as friends. Oh yea. The official flatnames were Rachel, John, Charlie, Hollie and Joel. ALEK! is an honorary roommate who came with Charlie. You’ll meet Joel later.
Cuba street. I totally lucked out in location. I couldn’t have asked for a better place! Upon my arrival Rachel invited me to check out a happy hour theatre production showing around the corner at a bar/venue called Mighty Mighty. What a great introduction to the city’s cultural nightlife!
I always wondered how and where they sold stuff like spraypaint in other cities overseas. This was in a skate shop in the neighborhood.

The building to the left is the National Gallery, a free art museum featuring all new zealand artists.
Behind the gallery was a backview of the library –one of the first places I ended up when I arrived in Wellington. I had thought that if any place would have free internet, it’d definitely be the library. Boy was I wrong! Nothing is free in New Zealand. Not even ketchup packets or should I say tomato sauce packets.
If you stroll further along past the National Gallery towards the waterfront you run into this walkway and pier with integrated wood and iron sculptures. Wellington has the highest concentration of publicly funded art spaces in all of New Zealand. Everywhere you go there are large scale sculptures and installations justifying the city’s reputation as a city with soul. The first time I was in New Zealand I was told how much I would like Wellington but sadly was never able to check it out til now.

Their version of a parking meter.

Right before I snapped this shot there was a guy who walked past this and had to stop to rub the dogs head like it was an actual dog. It was kinda cute actually.
Wellington has a cable car that takes you up to the top of the hill with the botanical gardens and cable car museum and then directly back down. It only has that one route. People like to make comparisons to SF because of it but I don’t think they should. Cable cars aren’t that cool and neither is SF.

Why is it museums love to have mannequins with bad hair pieces doing strange things?
The top of the hill. I mentioned that earlier there’s only cable car and one route that takes people from the top of the hill down to the bottom but I also forgot to add that many of the old homes that sit on steep hills have their own private pulley and elevator systems. Of course they have stairs too but I wonder, why doesn’t SF have something like that?!
The walk down from the top of the hill down to the city center is only about 30-45 minutes.
Wellington had lots of ferns and moss. I would say a good portion of NZ could qualify as temperate rainforest.

I loved this apartment building because it makes me think of a lifesized dollhouse where even though each unit’s floorplan may be almost identical but are vastly different depending on the dweller. It makes me want to make up stories about the people that live there.
On the way back I passed by the oldest cemetary in the city. It was where some of the first colonists were buried.
This is the parliament building which is nicknamed “the beehive.”
I think this is Lambton quay. Wasn’t very far from the flat. As I said earlier, I couldn’t have asked to have been situated in a better place! I was right around the corner from the alternative area yet still super close to the city center.

I didn’t know that the Hara Krishna’s were still a cult! These days they tend to look a little more normal from the waist up. Check out the guy with baseball cap!

There was a crew of these devil looking guys and girls wandering the street that day. They looked like they were on a scavenger hunt.
Saturday night we roamed the city looking for a place to hang out and went to at least 5 bars before settling on this café with a live jazz trio. We went everywhere but for some reason that night the city was dead. I hear it happens sometimes.

The beetch my last day.
So you know how sometimes you’ll see people playing volleyball, hackysack or even soccer at the beach? Well these guys on the left were playing cricket, which coincidentally there happened to be an international game going on that day as well. While we decided on the beach, Hollie and my english traveler friend I had met 2 towns ago attended that instead. Don’t bother asking me anything about the game. All I know is, it sounded B-O-R-I-N-G. It’s suppose it’s like our baseball, you go as an excuse to drink.
Rachel and Joel. Joel is a frenchy from Christchurch, a graphic designer AND the newest member of the household. He was a delight too!
Rachel was a stupendous host. She actually offered to drive me to the ferry terminal at the ungodly hour of 7am even after I protested. I don’t think I’ve said enough about Rachel but I will add that she was a fireball of energy. In a good way! Bye Wellington. It was a great 4 days!

Happy New Year!

2008-04-11T12:52:00.000-07:00

Some foxy thai ladies. Courtesy of travelvideo.tv

As to where I am and what I’ll be doing in the next few weeks, here is a short synopsis of my plans. In two days time I’ll be in Chiang Mai participating in Songkran activities, which according to my cousin is extremely fun and is the best city be in for the celebration. Understandably so, since Chiang Mai is considered one of the most culturally significant cities in Thailand. Supposedly everyone heads there. Even the residents of Bangkok. For most of you who are as familiar with it as I am, Sonkran is the largest and most elaborate holiday for the Thais since it is in honor of the Thai New Year. It involves 4 days of dousing strangers with water during the day and then continuing the play into the evening with drinking and partying on the streets. Being about as Thai as apple pie, it’s a sad thing for me to admit that it's about all I can say on it and will have to give you the low down once I actually experience it for myself. All the more reason right?

A few days after that I’ll depart for Siem Reap (Angkor Wat) crossing the Cambodian border at Poi Pet (read what some are saying about that) and then into Phenom Penh. Once there it’s onward to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam where I’ll take a train along the coast up to Hanoi. From there I’ll most likely fly into Luang Prabang, Laos, bussing it down through Veng Vieng arriving in Ventienne as my final Laotian destination. And if I come out of that alive, I'll conclude it with a ride to Bangkok via bus. By then I’ll be ready for the pristine beaches of Southern Thailand, downing buckets of redbull/vodka with the rest of the douchie farongs on Koh Phangan. Ooooh yea. What a sweet mekong adventure this’ll be. Wish me luck!

This is an itinerary that I wish I had the time to do but alas it's only going to be northern Laos, Cambodia, and the coast of Vietnam.

Le Christchurch

2008-04-10T13:20:00.000-07:00

Ok a little out of order but I DID warn you about this...

Here are some pictures from the last leg of my journey in New Zealand. It’s not the very first town I stopped in but it IS the first set of pictures I’ve organized enough to post satisfactorily. If you’re really curious to know when and where this part of the trip took place just refer to the nifty little map I so diligently worked on 2 posts ago. Finding time to post with regularity has been a challenge but I’m determined to keep you guys updated with no more than a months lag time. Ambitious eh? Eventually I hope to rearrange the posts somewhat to give it a bit of chronology but at the same time I wonder if doing that would compromise the integrity and authenticity of the efforts. *shrug* I guess we’ll decide that later.

But one of many glorious activities you can lighten your wallet with in New Zealand.

Oh Christchurch, you ain't no SF. That's for sure.

The cathedral in Christchurch. Now try saying that five times fast. And now try saying "five times fast" five times fast.

So tattered it hurts.

Makes me think of Virgin Suicides.
This couple was so very very cute. I spent a good portion of the day cursing myself for not having gathered the courage to ask them for a portrait. I even stalked them around the cathedral for a bit hoping for a good opportunity to snap their picture. The older gentlemen could have been any old white new zealander guy with a cane if it weren't for the traditional maori design tattooed over all of his face. She was a maori and you could tell that the love they shared for each other was a beautiful thing. Have you ever come across people you know just know have tons of stories to tell? I think they were 2 of them.

The square

No city is complete without a designated chess area.
uhhh? Creepstown!!

This is Zongqi. He is a neurologist from Boston who got on the magic bus over in Queenstown. We ended up spending a day in Christchurch together after the Lithuanians abruptly missed our bus 2 days prior. I was distraught for days after. It was like having your baby yanked from you without ever having the chance to have say goodbye. Yea it was that bad.

Anyways, Zongqi was an unlikely travel partner. After about 4 cumulative hours together he told me I reminded him of his brother because of the bickering. Ok, well maybe more like my bickering. Sorry Zongqi. It just means I like you!

So in Oceania, or maybe it's just New Zealand and Australia... all the intersections have a nice big silver button you HAVE to press in order to cross the street. Yes I know we have them in the states too but everyone actually uses them here. And I think they actually work!

We stumbled onto this street bazaare that is apparently held every Sunday.
This kids mullet is like 100% awesomecore.

The food vendors corridor.

Potato pancake with a bunch of stuff on it. It looks better than it tasted.

It's not like I think this is a particularly great sculpture or anything. Just that when I stare at it, it looks more like a smiley face than a body. Think it's on purpose?
We headed to the art museum afterwards. It was aiight. They were all New Zealand artists. LIKE I CARE. ha. just kidding!
Then it was off to to the park and the rose garden!
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Don't criticize my blog... or I'll fuck you up.

This is the interior courtyard of their arts college. It's an old academic institution that was converted to a school for the arts in recent years. Kinda has a Harry Potter feel to the campus. Wish I went to a school like that...instead I went to UIC with it's fucked up architechure that in the end got torn down anyways. And if this offers you any insight into the insanity of it, I heard somewhere that the architect committed suicide.
This was our last day hanging out. I'm glad we said goodbye when we did because I had to get up at 4:00 am to make it to my 5:45am flight to melbourne. That was the day I was up for almost 24 hours. Sucks to explore a new city on 2 hours sleep. :p Bye Zongqi!

Has it really been a month?

2008-04-05T08:29:00.000-07:00

Just got home from the horrendous ordeal of having to get to West Ryde from Sydney CBD (currently 2:30am). I've only been here for 3 days and spent almost half of it in an auditorium attending the Semi-permanent 2008 conference. Tomorrow I'll be boarding a plane bound for Bangkok. That means the oceanic portion of my trip will end in little over 14 hours. Not sure how I'm feeling about it but I will say so far I have a real fear that traveling might very well turn into an addiction.

Interesting to note.
They like to use the word heaps in these here parts. Sort of like the way we use tons. As in:

Q: "How many koalas do you think have chlamydia?"
A: "Oh heaps!"

An image is worth a thousand words?

2008-03-26T07:08:00.000-07:00

Sorry not enough energy to compose but wanted to put up a little something something. Will update on NZ soon. In the meantime chew on this.

What the eff I did in New Zealand for 3 weeks.

You've asked for it. Now you've got it.

2008-03-21T02:07:00.000-07:00

Greetings. So I feel a bit guilty for slacking on the posting of my pictures lately. It’s almost week three of my trip and I still haven’t posted up pictures from Fiji or Auckland even. It’s been hard trying to find the time to go through photos to resize and upload but I’ll say it’s been even harder finding the time to write something I’d be satisfied with. Currently, there’s half a dozen partially written entries that are sitting on my computer waiting to be finished. What with being constantly on the move and the limited opportunities in charging my laptop it’s been a challenge indeed. So I’m now finally taking the few moments I can while riding the Magic bus down to Dunedin to at least compose something about the Auckland photos. There won’t be much narrative because of time constraints but fear not! I’ve plenty of things that are brewing in this here noggin of mine that are hankering to get out. Trust that there will be heaps of verbal spewage in the upcoming weeks to get your proper read-on.

After too short a stay in Fiji, I was scheduled to fly out of Nadi (pronounced Nan-di) to Auckland the Friday of my first week. Prior to my arrival, I had made arrangements with my friend Jodhi who was going to pick me up from the airport and take me back to her house situated in the outlying areas of the city. I had actually met Jodhi during my first stay 2 years ago when I randomly strayed into the shop she was working in at the time and struck up a conversation about what options there were for night life. Turned out there were hardly any being a Tuesday night and we ended up exchanging emails and corresponding a few times since then. When I told her I’d be stopping in Auckland again on my travels she graciously offered me accommodations and her services as a guide to the city. Since my first trip had been all about sightseeing, I didn’t feel the need to push myself as a tourist this time around and so treated my stay in the city as more of an opportunity to experience it from a local’s perspective. Because of that, I’m sorry to say I don’t have many pictures of the cityscape but in compensation I’ll fill in the holes by digging up ones from the first trip. Yes, it is a little cheap but what can you do? I can forgo them all together but I’d like to maintain it’s integrity as a travel blog. Yea? Ok? Pbffft. ah who cares.

The welcome into Auckland International is a winding maze of blue stanchions.

Now that’s more like it.

Yup, just as I remember

Foodcourt on Ponsonby. See the food menu to the left of Jodhi’s head? Mexican. Didn’t know they could swim that far. OooooOOooo...ok, poor taste.

What’s a city without a big ole needle in the sky?

On our way to Pasifika. An annual festival celebrating the multitude of south pacific island cultures.

Wish I can remember what Island this was.

Kiribati has their own unique island culture. Just like Fiji and Tahiti have their own. They say Fijians are one of the friendliest. From what I encountered, I believe it.

No beer and not a lot of white people but plenty of stands! (the not a lot of white people comment is a commentary on how the cultures are still somewhat segregated).

I had mussel fritters earlier that day and almost got sucked into the mussel fritters vortex. So good.

One of those iconic New Zealand things. According to Jodhi the story is that back in the day these guys took leftover low grade meat, canned it into corned beef and marketed it to the natives. Well the maori’s took it and created wonderful recipes from it and now New Zealand is claiming it as their very own once again. Nice going white imperialists!

I don’t know half these brands but then again I’ve been out of the candy game for a while. What’s snickers?

The 1st stencil I spotted. I hear they’re a band.

K-road is the alternative shopping and nightlife district. Similar to the mission in SF.

There’s this hot new couture fad here where you incorporate foodstuffs like spaghetti into your fashion.

The main road that runs through downtown is Queens Road. At night it becomes pick-up central. Sort of like Courtney place in Wellington and Kings Cross in Sydney.

Auckland is so very clean. The comparison to LA is only because it lacks it’s own strong cultural identity and is very commercial. Not that LA doesn’t have it’s own distinct character. Actually I’m not sure what they are talking about.

This was off of High Street and Queen Rd. Another quaint shopping district with high-end boutiques, galleries and chi-chi dance clubs.

Old world charm always gets me.

Awww..it’s mother and son. Manaaki is Jodhi’s rad 10 year old son. I don’t meet too many kids I like but he’s definitely one of them.

Alright, so I tried to rummage up those pictures from my last trip and it looks like I’m gonna have to jump through some flaming hoops to get them so I just want to say that I will add them later as an addendum to this entry. Hope that’s ok!

They kinda talk funny here.

2008-03-17T23:53:00.000-07:00

How to speak New Zealander.* For bist efict, rid these out loud.

peck-to fill a suitcase
pigs -for hanging out washing with
pug -large animal with curly tail
min -male of the species
leather -foam produced from soap
lift -departed
jungle bills -christmas carol
guess -vapour
fush -marine creatures
fitter cheney -type of pasta
ear -mix of nitrogen and oxygen
duffy cult -not easy
bug hut -popular recording
bun button -been bitten by insect
beard -a place to sleep
sucks peck -half a dozen beers
beers -large savage animals found in us forests
one doze -well known computer program
sex -one less than sivven
igg ecktly -precisely
beggage chicken -place to leave your suitcase at the earport

And here are some words I’ve picked up while hanging out with friends in auckland and wellington (I welcome any and all corrections NZ friends. And additions even!)

kia ora –maori for hello
choice -use as an affirmative in suggesting approval like excellent
bro –friend; used as commonly as mate or dude when saying friend in a generic way
sweet as –an affirmative term used like cool or awesome ( and i thought they were saying "sweet ass!"
singe –a negative term used for indicating disdain if it's bad, gross, kind of like the word budge
munter –jock, meathead, retard
munted –to get completely knackered/wasted
(even though munter is derogatory, you can still use munted to refer to yourself and not actually be a munter)
tomato sauce –red condiment they use with hot chips (fries)
psst...we call it ketchup.
business time –time to get busy, popularised by flight of the conchords
business associate –friend with benefits or someone you shag with no strings attached. This was derived from the business time reference and is more like an inside joke between the flatmates of ghunzee st.

(Figure 3.14159265) Their national equivalent to our Dr. Pepper.
Except it's lemony.

So this is utterly retarded of me but I didn’t get until the other day when the lightbulb finally went off, that mince meat is the same as ground beef. Like mince pie. I think I thought mince was the way you seasoned it or something. duh.

*from safari petes ultimate guide to backpacking new zealand.

A disclaimer.

2008-03-16T04:22:00.000-07:00

I know I said that I’d be blogging about Fiji soon but it looks like that entry is taking much longer to write than I anticipated. My original intent was to document everything in chronological order as it happens but now I’m thinking that in order for me to maintain some sort of regularity with the posts, I’ll have to blog what I write in the order I finish them in and give a fuck all about maintaining continuity. Otherwise, any long entry will end up bottlenecking the ones I have waiting in queue and what’ll end up happening is nothing will be posted for weeks because of being overwhelmed in trying to keep up with backlogged entries which in turn will cause me to stop updating altogether. The worst case scenario is that I add them all at once when I get back to the states but wouldn’t that totally miss the point of the whole endeavor in the first place? So yea, you have my neurotic perfectionist tendencies to thank for that. It says your welcome.

Random photographs in no particular order.
LA airport.

Touchdown at Auckland International Airport

In Jodhi's car on the way to the Pacifika festival.

Interisland Ferry from the North Island to South Island (Wellington to Picton)

They have double flush toilets here but I don't notice the water decrease in using the half moon button. I think it's a sham.

I couchsurfed in Wellington and this was at the apartment. Charlie, one of the flatmates created cardboard robotheads for his band. They said that sometimes they'll wear these out in their neighborhood. Sweet as!

Got it in Fiji and I think it was worth every painful moment.

OK poll.
Would you like to see captions under the photographs? Leave a comment with your answer.

LA LA Land

2008-03-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

I guess you can say my world trip really officially started as soon as my plane left LAX even though I had departed SFO last Friday. Personally, I feel it would be cheap counting the LA portion of it since I was staying with Jane the whole time and was all too comfortable there. Being around family is like being at home no matter where you are. I could be on the moon, I’m sure if I was there with them it wouldn’t seem so foreign. So I won’t count it.

In a lot of ways I compare my jump off in LA to standing at the end of a diving board with a lot fidgeting and staring down at the pool. There’s always a lot of anxiety and trepidation and simultaneously a deep inner recognition of fear too. When faced with that feeling I always think to myself that fear is all it is, that it’s something to overcome and if other people can do what I’m contemplating doing then there’s no good reason why I can't do it either. So I take a deep breath, close my eyes, jump and hope for the best. And yea, I’m not talking about diving anymore.

Bye Bye SF!

What I’m saying is that there were definite moments before leaving that I felt that fear acutely. Numerous times, I’d be doing something like standing in a supermarket line minding my own business when all the of the sudden a rising anxiousness in the pit of my stomach would hit me out of nowhere. I knew better than to allow it carry me away with it but it definitely took a concentrated effort to push it up and out of my mind. What was the anxiety about? Well, most of it centered around the prospect of the unknown and whether or not I’d have enough money to sustain me through these four months. (And now 10 days later I can undeniably say that I will beyond a shadow of a doubt be far surpassing my modest budget. Ack!)

Anyways, I took some pictures during my stay in LA although I am bummed that I didn’t get pictures of Craig and Veronica. On each separate occasion with the both of them, right after we’d exchange our heartfelt goodbyes it would immediately occur to me that here were perfect photo ops that I had totally missed and would then proceed to privately kick myself for forgetting the camera. Some blog this was gonna be right? But in all fairness it WAS the beginning of my trip and I hadn’t quite yet gotten in the habit of having my trigger finger poised and ready to go for any opportune moments. So cut me a break will ya? I mean I already did. Last week in fact. And this is the part where I go on about self-compassion and forgiveness. Ha. Yea right. Just kidding. Anyways, sorry there aren’t more pictures. It was my practice playground before the real deal. So here ya go.

Logging my travel expenses

Ok. So I know these pictures are gonna come back to haunt me but I only think it's fair if I'm posting up Jane trying to emulate some sort of puppy that I should probably put up the one where she's trying to make me look like a turtle. Trust. I did not want to post the one of me up at all. Anyways, one of the nights I was there we ended up having an impromptu photoshoot because I got one of those nifty gorillapods and we thought we'd test it out. You can thank Jane for the sepia tones.

Oh yes, I know who my real friends are.

2008-03-08T18:46:00.000-08:00

So in tribute to the people who made it out for my going away I decided rather than to post up your standard everyone-pose-like-your-myspace-counted-on-it snapshots I thought I’d make it short and sweet with a collage. I’m grateful to everyone who took the time to make it out and am blessed to have the friends that I do and for those of you who rsvp’d and didn’t make it... well, we’ll see who’ll be coming with me on that island vacation when I win the lottery. So poo on you.

Yea, you know who you are and NO, sick or far away does not qualify as a proper excuse. It’s called a plane betch!

xoxo

ps. there is another update soon regarding fiji. Stay on the lookout!

Prelude to World Tour

2008-03-02T02:15:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Namely what it is I'm doing with my life and what it is I exactly want. The end of 2007 was a rough one. I found myself in the throes of some serious depression and there seemed like nothing that could lift me out of it. It's been forever and a half since I had felt this down, at times unable to pull myself out of bed for even the most mundane of things except for maybe running to the corner store for cigarettes to help smoke away the anxiety. I think I divided my time between sleeping as much as I could and drinking and drugging it off with whatever illicit substance I had on hand.

Looking back at it now, it all seems so silly I went to that place and at the same time alarming too because I think it happened a lot more times than I care to admit or remember. There were a couple brief periods that I'd find myself on top of the world with these intense bursts of energy that would motivate me to enthusiastically apply for jobs or breeze through my to-do lists but sadly those moments would last for about as long as relationship can stick to a hipster, leaving me to stew in my own puddle of sad and pathetic. I think I recently read somewhere that the symptoms for manic depression includes severe and extreme mood swings where a person in the peak of their highs will experience mania in impulsive and rash decision making while in the depths of their lows will be incapable of functioning on even the most basic of levels. Within that there's definitely a range of in betweens and by no means am I saying that I'm one with a severe manic depressive problem, only thinking that tying it to something definable helps make it somewhat easier to tackle.

Recently I discovered a word that so perfectly describes what I chronically do that I couldn't believe I hadn't come to it earlier. That word for me is brood. I brood incessantly. Non-stop. I dwell on what has been, what's going to happen, mistakes I've made, how I could have prevented them, why it keeps happening, how everyone else is better than me, how stupid I am for allowing myself to be where I'm at, how silly my neuroses are, my inability at controlling the damning thoughts, on and on in an endless loop until I eventually arrive in such a deep funk that when there's no where else to go but up, I'll momentarily snap out of it only to quickly spiral back down after realizing how much time I've wasted on brooding in the first place. It's all self indulgent bullshit really.

And there's also times I've wish and wondered why it weren't a viable option to just lay down and give up. Now no need for alarm. I'm not talking about suicide (I value the gift of life too much for that) but more like how nice it would be to escape into a black void where there wouldn't be anything to tax me emotionally or mentally. It's during those moments that I think I'd gladly trade away any brief waves of euphoria for the possibility of never having to go the depths of shitty again.

And here I thought after all these years of experiential learning mixed with a dedicated portion devoted to spirituality, the exit of my 20s would have signified that I had left the worse behind me. But here I was again back to square one well into my 30s. I was no further along in my search for true and lasting happiness than I was at 25 when I was making my 1st thrilling realizations about life, the universe and everything. In reality, I think I might actually be worse off than I was 8 years ago although I think that statement feeds into a relentless cycle of self defeating cynicism right there. At least I had the optimism and energy to approach it with determination and unbounded enthusiasm back then.

With the closing of 2007 and a long overdue assessment, I think that maybe perhaps I've been in a perpetual state of depression this whole time without even being consciously aware of it? The final few months a culmination of all I had cultivated or shall we say NOT cultivated for the past 3 years. All of which has obviously proved to be unsustainable. The dull pang is no longer content lingering in the dark shadows of my consciousness quietly feeding on my neuroses but rather is wanting to assert its existence with the subtly of a barging semi through a delicate crystalline field. 3 years of living and I feel like there hasn't been one iota of progress. 3 years is a long fucking time. You can accomplish a lot in that amount of time. I can also add that I can pinpoint exactly why and how it began. I gave up most of my spiritual practice right around the time kris and I broke up. I never really properly mourned our breakup or spent any time coming to terms about what went wrong or why. Never worked on resolving the anger or strong emotional ties. I just decided that everything that I had worked on and all the beliefs I built until then just ultimately let me down. Plus I now realize how much of it was tainted by the bullshit scene I was in back then. Same people. Different costumes. Leave it to scenesters to make a mockery of anything that can be pure and decent. So I let it go. I renounced its worth and purposely decided that turning to old vices and coping mechanisms was much less work and at the very least instantly more gratifying than what I was doing until then. Which in hindsight actually turns out to be a shite way of dealing with your problems after all.

That being said I think this phase of my life is quickly coming to an end (fingers crossed.) When it became painfully obvious that I was markedly less happy than I was 5 years ago and then also seeing how all my actions and decisions were starting to smack of desperation in an embarrassing and shaming way, I decided that I could no longer consciously continue on this path I chose for myself. The way I was handling my affairs was and is definitely not working out. With that in mind I started thinking about how my happiness was my own personal responsibility and mine alone. That nobody could do it for me or give it to me. So I sat down and composed a list. A list of things that made me happy. Among some of those things was traveling, music, creating and experiencing art, my cats, a good haircut, a warm and cozy bed, people who love me, accomplishments, connecting with someone, etc, etc, and the list went on. It was shortly after making that list while being at the gym that I had an impulsive thought. I was still contemplating the idea of being in charge of my own happiness and thought back to the time when I had this grand idea of traveling the world. It's something I've had on my list of life goals and was actually working on when I abandoned it 3 years ago. I had even saved up close to 18,000 so that I could do a full year of traveling. What happened? I got a job offer and decided to set it aside concluding that the world will always be there and that I could always go later if I wanted to. Fast forward to Jan 2008 and here we are. It was that moment on the treadmill that I vividly remember I decided to "just do it." There was nothing holding me back and if I didn't do it now, well then when would I? So within a span of 2 weeks I started the wheels a-turning and bought an around the world trip ticket. I figured once I committed myself to a $2000 ticket there would be no turning back and with only one direction but forward to move, it would insure me against self sabotage and the changing of minds.

But even after all this, I had to come to a deeper and decidedly better realization. It's always the case that when you think you've peeled away all the layers of the onion you soon end up discovering that you've still got many more to go. I suppose that's the nature of the beast, it's never what you think it is. So this 2nd realization was the discovery that it's not just about creating outside conditions that bring you happiness but realizing that it's more about cultivating the conditions in your mind that set you up for being happy. What does that mean you ask? Well, I think a lot of us or I'll speak for myself and say me for example, get these ideas in my head that what is causing my unhappiness is due to what's lacking in my life and that if I can somehow obtain whatever it is that is missing, be it the perfect job, the perfect boyfriend, a slimmer figure, fame and recognition, or whatever else I'm fancying at that moment, it would bring me one step closer to completion. Well what a crock of shit that is! The truth is even when you get that perfect job you may end up with a shitty boss or getting those projects you didn't exactly hope for. You might lure an acceptable boyfriend but it turns out he's emotionally unavailable. Either way you're back to where you started, reaching for that carrot or brooding on what you don't have. I hear stories of people living in the poorest of villages with barely more than the clothes on their backs in worldly possessions and yet they still manage to retain that optimism and a smile on their face. It's a notion that begs to be looked at and I've had to ask myself numerous times how can it be that if I'm blessed with an overabundance in my life why is it I am still miserably unhappy.

So what does this all mean? Well I think that acknowledging the misplaced expectations on what you think will make you happy is the 1st step. The 2nd is cutting yourself a break and giving yourself a little breathing room so that you can work on the things that keep you from being happy. Essentially accepting yourself to be human, flaws and all, and to stop resisting all the negative things you are unwilling to admit to yourself that blocks you from being free. Resistance only gives whatever it is you're trying to ignore substance and creates a monster akin to the bogeyman. Doesn't it stand to argue then that way to make him disappear is to shine a light on him or to kill him? But how is it exactly do we come to this state of transformation? Well the best solution I've been able to come up with is the nurturing of a consistent meditation practice. Only because it seems the best way to clear yourself the psychological space to work in. I know that this answer is a bit murky and abstract but at this point it's as much as I've been able to grasp since it's also something I'm in the process of sorting out myself. Well, at least it's a starting point...

Anyways, I've been forced to take a long hard look at life in San Francisco and the level of my satisfaction there. Since I've moved there I've constantly had to ask myself why it's so goddamn hard to achieve contentment. I've discussed it with friends old and new knowing that the bitter cynicism does me a disservice in leaving a negative impression with others. It's now at the point where I've already cycled through one round of intense soul searching, given it up, revisited old vices, and given it a go with therapy. I'm not sure if it's the city, if it's the people, or if it's me but I am willing to bet it's somewhere between all of the above. I've also come to some none too flattering conclusions about the nature of that city and it's people but that's for another blog, another time. For now I've been working on this unfinished soliloquy for weeks and I feel it's time I wrap up and post, since having it sit unfinished on my hard drive is hindering me from cycling through this inhibiting frame of mind. It's also true that I all too often cheap out on endings because of my short attention span but in my best interests you'll have to settle for what I'm giving now. Rather than letting myself obsess over it's overall perfectedness I'm going to afford myself the luxury of knowing that there's always tomorrow to try again and that's all you've got to remember in working towards becoming better at what you do. As much as I despise Nike and it's culture, I have to admit the brilliance behind the words to "Just do it." Anyhow my patience wears thin and with those closing words I'll end it here and bid you peace out!